Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ]

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 9th 2009, 4:05 am

Jamie didn't really know how he felt about his fellow students. They were obviously a randomly selected group of people from all different social groups, countries, intellects, personalities, and overall walks of life. They were so different that they almost matched. A motley crew. Like those every-flavor jellybeans at the market. Those were a rare treat, though Jamie thought them a bit too sweet. He liked sugar and everything, but for some reason, the way you chewed jellybeans and the way their texture felt against his teeth made him feel like he was getting instant cavities. Anyways - the students. He scanned the media center and saw no one except the lovely Zina Schon pouring over some book while perched atop a stool at the check out desk. From where she sat she had a perfect view of every angle of the library / media center, which he knew from working as the book scanner on various off hours. He had to wonder if the Headmaster had intentionally designed the room that way. Or perhaps Zina had influenced him. From what he had observed of the two's interactions, her 'advising' his decisions did not seem unfathomable.

Students. Right. Different but alike. There was a common thread between them all that he could not place his finger on. He sensed that the answer was deeper than simply a generational understanding, because he sensed it in people like Nikolai Reef as well as in his classmates. He frowned, not liking his inability to understand whatever it was about his classmates that stalked his mind obsessively. He lost interest after a few minutes of zoning out into the radiant light of his table lamp and resumed skimming his book for more information about his research topic. As fascinating as he found Napoleon Bonaparte, he was really not feeling very motivated today, which was both uncharacteristic and highly disturbing to his already slightly unsettled mind. He was about to start worrying about himself when his mind jumped - not his body - as someone sat next to him. He hadn't sensed anyone coming or anything. His eyes shot across from him, betraying his irritation at being snuck up on and caught off guard.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 9th 2009, 3:46 pm

Caleb swung open the door to his dormitory, forgetting to keep a good grip on the handle. The door was so old not only did it squeak, a fly could move it back and forth just by bumping into it. Caleb was startled by a muddled bang as the door hit the wall. When he had left this morning his room mate was still asleep, and knowing him he still might be. The lights were off and the curtains were still closed. "Shit" He thought. His mind was so distracted from his violin lesson he had forgotten about the door. Making sure to not further wake his room mate, he shut the door as quietly as he good tiptoed into his dorm. As he rounded the corner he was alone- he sighed. It was both a sigh of relief that he was alone- and a sigh of disapproval at how lazy his roomy is. How hard was it to draw the curtains or turn on a lamp?

Letting go of his roomy's habits, he now tried to shrug off the tension from his lesson. It wasn't going away and he had a feeling it wouldn't anytime soon. He sat on the edge of his bed and stretched. He was now bored, tired, and stressed and he needed a distraction. If his life were to be summed up into one word, it would be distraction. He needed to draw. As his hand reached his sketch book he smiled as he pulled it out. He always kept it under the safety of his bed. He listened to the rest of Clair De Lune as he began to draw. Music and drawing went hand in hand. The inflections of the notes in a song helps the inflection on shading and lighting. Right now he was working on a sketch of a dragon that he really wanted to finish.

The light from his bedside table lamp flickered against the page as his hand moved back and forth. As time passed he began to feel better. Once his drawing was finished he closed the book and kissed the cover. His great grandmother, on his mothers side, had given him his sketch book when he was young. She was a painter and art was not just a hobby for her, it was a way of life. Her inspiration filled each page even after her passing, because she brought such life to his home. When she died at the age of 90, he was only 10. It was the hardest thing he ever had to go through. He could handle the emotional and physical abuse of his mother and father- and even brother- but losing the one person who cared most about him was something he never felt he could replace. Love is never something you can replace. She saw a human being underneath his quiet demeanor. His sketch book has been with him for 12 years and it has grown up with him. From a 10 year olds stick drawings to a 22 year olds dragon- and all the while the cover is kissed afterwords as a thank you to his grandmother, for being the one person in his family who saw potential in him.

Now that he felt better about things for the time being, he decided it best to be responsible and finish his homework. He had a history project due and the deadline was approaching. He loved history itself, but almost despised the class. No one talks to him or even looks at him. Something he's used to by now, but it still hurts. He gathered his essentials and school work into his bag, locked the door behind him, and headed towards the library. As he entered, he found an open desk. Perfect. He hated writing a rough draft on those padded seats that aligned the library. He walked up, droped his book bag down by his chair, and pulled up a seat.

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 9th 2009, 4:16 pm

The boy who sat next to him was in his same year, he remembered this from the first dinner when he'd been announced. Of course, Jamie had been announced long before, his last name beginning with C. This boy had been near the end of the list. He remembered perfectly because of what had happened when he first glimpsed the beautiful specimen on the podium. He had been eating, of course, delighted at food that he could actually taste. Someone had put out a bowl of sparkling cranberry juice and he had been sure to scoop a full cup of the juice because it had been his favorite since he was four, and he hadn't had any for at least ten years. He'd been blissfully chugging the heavenly drink when Caleb was announced. He didn't remember the rest of his name, but he didn't especially care. More juice poured into his mouth but in his distraction he failed to swallow, or close his mouth for that matter. A couple of the boys around him snickered and laughed at him, quiet enough to not be heard by any faculty. He just kept staring until the boy from Canada returned to his seat. From where he sat he would have had to angle himself too awkwardly to be able to steal glimpses on occasion, but he couldn't believe what he had seen was real, and had to be sure. He was afraid the seemingly shy piece of eye candy would disappear if he stopped thinking about him. Unfortunately he could neither excuse himself nor move seats. He got to spend the rest of the first dinner being teased, and was bullied the rest of the way back to the boy's dorm. He let it all slide right off of him though, his only thoughts wholly devoted to spotting the boy again, but he never did. Once he reached the stairs leading up to the beds from the common room on of the trio of bullying boys knocked him down and straddled him from behind and began humping him, feigning sex noises and grunting "Oh foreign boy! Oh oh!" while the other boys laughed with their friend and joined in mocking him. While depressing him on a deeper emotional level, the spontaneous and somewhat violent act backfired on his bullies and excited him. He turned himself and began rubbing into his attacker, grinning, his eyes betraying honest lust. The boy jumped off in fear and disgust and left quickly with one of the others. The third stayed long enough to punch him until his nose bled, spat on him and followed the others. The whole time all Jamie could do was laugh.

He blinked himself back into reality, where the object of his fantasies reappeared for the first time since being announced as a student. He was real, he was truly as attractive as Jamie had thought, and he was sitting a foot away from him. He swallowed and found his voice, which was deeper than most people seemed to expect from him, since he didn't talk much to anyone. He was American, one of few here, he imagined, and being from the mid-West did not have much of an accent to speak of. He cleared his throat softly and turned to Caleb. "I'm sorry for interrupting. Your name is Caleb, right? I'm Jamie. Jamie Cross." He gave a slightly awkward smile and flushed slightly, inwardly cursing himself for doing so.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 9th 2009, 5:01 pm

As Caleb took his seat, history facts began flowing through his head. He reached down into his book bag and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He hastily wrote facts he was remembering while he whispered them under his breath. While deep in thought a deep voice rang next to him. He dropped his pencil and jerked his head towards the voice- he was usually on edge but when he was focused- it was worse. The boy next to him appeared kind, but it didn't help his embarrassment that he had made a jumping fool out of himself.

Jamie flushed after introducing himself and so did Caleb. Maybe he was known by this Jamie for his clumsiness or awkwardness, it was certainly showing today. He quickly turned his head back to his desk and clinched his pen in his hand. "Yeah...that's right. I'm Caleb Sarcelier" He looked back over at Jamie and then back at his paper. He scooted closer to his desk and hunched his shoulders attempting to not be seen, although he knew it wasn't working. It was hard to finish his outline. He adjusted in his seat and while doing so he peered over at Jamie's desk, doing his best to be discreet, and he noticed a book on Napoleon. Maybe they were in the same history class together- Jamie certainly looked his age.

The awkward silence was growing, and Caleb knew it was only awkward because of him. "Nice to meet you Jamie" He smiled a small smile and looked down at Jamie's desk. "I noticed the book you're reading. Are we in the same history class?"

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 9th 2009, 5:28 pm

Oh my God. He had a French accent...faintly. He wasn't just Canadian, he was FRENCH Canadian. He couldn't hide a bit of a sparkle in his eyes. He didn't feel as awkward as he imagined he would when talking to Caleb because, well, Caleb seemed to store enough awkward tension to cover the both of them. He thought it was cute but avoided showing anything on his face other than friendly curiousity and a subtle bit of excitement.

"The same class?" I think I would have noticed you, he thought. "Well, maybe. Do you have Mr. Bentman? Well, everyone has Bentman. If you're a fifth year then yeah." I don't think ... well no. I know you're a fifth year. How did I not see you in class! "Actually...we probably have every core class together. I think that's how they sort things. By year." Wow. I feel really dumb now. "I don't know how I didn't notice you. Maybe because you seem pretty quiet. I don't usually talk either. At all, really. People and I don't really mix so well. Um...I'm really sorry for interrupting. I'll leave you alone. I can move over somewhere else if you want space or something."

He felt so ridiculous now he wanted to punch himself. Fortunately he was skilled at hiding what he felt beneath the surface, so he knew that the only thing that would come across would be a bit of social awkwardness that he had already confessed to. He knew he was at risk of saying too much and sounding stupid though, so as much as he wanted to keep talking and never stop, he knew he needed to shut up. Caleb probably didn't really care what class he was in, much less want to talk to him. He was okay moving away if that's what the gorgeous boy wanted. If he wasn't sitting so close he'd be able to stare at him without his knowing, which was just as good at being right next to him in a different sort of way.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 9th 2009, 6:48 pm

Caleb let out a little chuckle, he found Jamie's awkward rambling endearing, It helped him to feel a little less out of place.
"Don't go. It's nice to..." He saved himself from further embarrassment- he didn't want Jamie to know he secretly liked him being there. "If I seemed a little distracted it was because I was deep in thought. Really it's okay" he gave a crooked smile and sat there in silence for a few moments not knowing what to say; he was such a bad conversationalist. Caleb looked down. I better say something so I'll appear less boring. "I um.. I have Mr. Bentman too." Caleb nodded and looked about the room. Great- another awkward silence. Caleb shrugged and started talking quickly- hoping if he did, this dreadful silence would end "And it's okay you didn't notice me.I don't mix well either, and I don't like talking- it's easy not to notice me." He quickly turned away from Jamie, huddled under his shirt as best he could, picked up his pen and began to write again. Why did I even come here? I could have written my paper in my dorm AWAY from people. He had said more today than he had in the entire two weeks he had been here. He was so socially awkward and while it was good for him to meet yet another person who was nice, he was almost on overload. If you're not good at something and you're pushed into doing it all at once it's a strain- and in Caleb's case this strain is worse because the problem is talking to begin with. But Jamie's presence was comforting and this comfort was something he liked even though he was afraid of it. A few minutes had passed and Caleb was almost done with his outline. I'm probably coming across really rude right now ignoring him like this. Say something. Caleb wondered if Jamie was going to think he was weird to randomly say something again after a five minute period of silence- but he at least needed to show he wasn't rude and was trying to put a mutual effort into Jamie's friendliness. "What's your project on?" He coughed and looked away "I'm writing a paper on Napoleon...." He trailed off hinting at the implication they should work together, and began nervously doodling on his outline sheet while he waited for a response. A friend was something he so desperately wanted but he was afraid if he got close to anyone, they'd hurt him or think he was weird. So he just didn't bother. And after years of behaving this way, he was unsure how to go about making one. Why the professor? Why Jamie? He had only just met these people- why did he want to get to know them? I'm probably coming across childish- he thought to himself. Just ask. Still looking down at his paper he shyly added "I mean, if you want to work together..."

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 10th 2009, 6:24 pm

You know, maybe it would be better to give him his space and slowly inch my way into his life, until he's comfortable. If I freak him out now he won't want to see me again, ever, and then we'll never be friends. That would blow. His thoughts were about to settle on politely agreeing to move - which was probably just as well since he seriously had to focus on this report and he'd never get it done unless he made himself focus and went somewhere Caleb wasn't - when he realized the other boy was talking. Did he just ask if we could work together? How is this possible? Seriously? His expression was a bit baffled as he realized Caleb was being serious.

"Um...yeah. I'm writing about Napoleon as well. I thought I'd focus on his more human side since anyone who doesn't see him as tyranical seems to think of him as this great war general. Which he was and everything but he has a really mysterious love life and so...I thought I'd show the lighter side of him. Bentman liked the idea. He's a sweet guy underneath, I think he's just been through some bad experiences." He scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous laugh. How is it possible to like somebody so much already when technically I'm just meeting him for the first time? I mean, what if he turns out to be a jerk? He seems really sweet so far. "I'm sorry. I'm kind of excitable on certain topics. I'd love to work with you. I don't know how much you want to focus on romance though. I'll probably just bore you or slow you down..." He tried not to look disheartened, but pretty much failed.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 10th 2009, 7:06 pm

Caleb blushed, he was one of those people Jamie was talking about. Someone who saw him as a great war general and nothing more. That's what his paper was on. He thought the topic Jamie had picked was interesting; showing the lighter side of him caught his attention and slowly made Caleb think Jamie was neat. He was going to go with something safe- something everyone in the class would know of; Napoleon as a war general- but Jamie's idea intrigued him. Jamie intrigued him. He pushed his paper further away on his desk and put his notebook on top it. He was feeling the urge to win Jamie's approval- a feeling he very much hated because it made him feel less substantial on his own- but this was a habit with his peers.
A soft smile eased from his lips which showed his agreement "Napoleon's softer side...I like it" He wondered if he was coming across desperate, or too agreeable. He thought about what he had said He's a sweet guy underneath, I think he's just been through some bad experiences. There was a short pause before he added "He sounds like me when you put it that way" He had said to much, once again. Caleb blushed and grit his teeth for making himself seem like a wimp. "Anyway" he tried to continue on "I wasn't.....I didn't have anything. So your idea sounds good." That was all he was going to say. He voice dropped and he waited for Jamie to speak. This was exactly why he hated working with people, not only did he have to talk- he had to appear less insecure. It took all the strength he had not to walk away- back to his room to draw- but avoiding a project that was a lot of points wasn't good either- and since he didn't have anything written at all, he might as well take advantage of the opportunity of working with someone who did, and who was nice- for once.

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 10th 2009, 7:16 pm

The practical part of him stopped him from immediately agreeing to work with Caleb. What if he was too much of a distraction and his very first real grade ended up sucking because he did a terrible project because he couldn't focus enough to do his best? Not only would he be letting himself down, he'd be disappointing Mr. Bentman and screwing Caleb over. But what if Caleb helped him get further on the project and they did well and ended up friends? That made it worth it. He didn't take many chances in life and didn't like risking potential failure, however small. Failing and in doing so looking like an idiot was something Jamie couldn't stand. He rarely tryed anything new, or took part in something he wasn't a natural master at because he refused to ever look bad. Of course, to get better at anything you have to look bad at some point, it made him feel like a loser so he didn't get out much. The only thing that kept his father from completely forsaking him was his gift with hockey. Somehow he'd gotten really good at ice-skating on the lake outside his Dad's house, and so when the time came that his mother and father agreed to work together to find a sport to stick their son in, they were delighted to discover that he was an excellent skater who was picked for the team as soon as he hit the ice. He missed hockey. He had no idea why, in today's society, anyone had time for something like Youth Sports, but it made his childhood reasonably alright. He spent most of his time with his teammates, spending nights at their houses all the time, even on school days. His parents didn't mind, which suprised him because they were very strict and rigid, controlling people who fought over who got to see him every other weekend. He didn't care though. When he'd reached highschool he was one of his team's star players. And then something happened to their rival school and everything got strict and no one had fun anymore. Something about a student killed for posing a threat to established order. That was the same year sports were banned altogether. He missed hockey and considered asking the Headmaster if he could create an ice-rink for skating at least.

Well it looked like he and Caleb would be spending a lot of time together for the next week while they compiled their minds and tried to do justice to a side of Napoleon most people didn't see. He listened to his potenial new friend and raised an eyebrow. "Wait, no. I meant Bentman is a sweet guy. I've been wondering a lot lately if something bad happened to him or something." He gave a light chuckle. "Not Napoleon. He was sorta born with a silver spoon in his mouth. What do you mean though, that he sounds like you? You have a bad life at home?" He wished, very humbly, that he didn't have a New York accent that had a tendancy of popping out at times. He wished he could sound romantic and beautiful and not like a gangster half of the time.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] January 10th 2009, 7:42 pm

"Oh" Caleb's tone was innocent and slightly embarrassed. He was beginning to feel tension in his shoulders. Come on man seriously, loosen up. Caleb nodded "Maybe something did..." Caleb began thinking about Mr. Bentman and how firm he was in his lectures. He agreed with Jamie that he was quite possibly a nice man underneath it all, but that theory didn't help Caleb feel anymore at home in his classroom. His thoughts lingered off of Mr.Bentman for a moment and once again onto Professor Reef. What was he doing? What was he thinking? He couldn't shake the feeling. He wasn't sure what it was that was so interesting about the professor, and that in turn made him even more appealing. It had been a few hours now since his lesson and he was still thinking about him. As his thoughts trailed off he realized how rude it was to be day dreaming right in front of someone who was talking. He brought his attention back to Jamie just in time to hear the personal question that was asked of him.

It caught him off guard and the words stumbled out of his mouth. "Well yeah, I mean no. Why?" He quickly remembered what he had said and added somewhat more calmly "Yeah well. I don't talk much so people get wrong impressions of me. I am nice" He laughed out and uncomfortable sigh and put his hand on his neck to stretch out his neck "And for the bad experiences part, well we wont' talk about that." He voice half came across terse and his eyes had a slight sparkle to them. He dropped his head back to his feet and then back up again. He was peeved at himself for opening up a window of opportunity for questioning. There was all also a sharp pain in his heart like a stabbing knife from the memories. All which led him to almost breaking down entirely. Emotions flooding he wondered sternly at why he was so vulnerable today. He normally didn't' cry. What had brought it on today? There was a flashback to reef and it all made sense. The struggle here in the present- for the life he wants and the person he wants to be- to let go of the past. I want a father figure, I want a friend, I want to make something of my life and do well in school. He suddenly realized how clenched his teeth were when he tasted the faint taste of blood. He certainly wasn't going to cry in front of Jamie- or anyone else for that matter and clenching his teeth prevented him from doing so.

"Sorry, Ha. You know how it is." He looked earnestly at Jamie and wasted no time on moving the conversation off that particular topic before he became anymore emotional. His mouth was dry and his stomach nauseous from being so tense on top of not eating anything all day. "Hey, do you want to get something to eat and we can work on this later?" Caleb forced out a smile and edged Jamie towards the library doors

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] March 11th 2009, 12:05 am

Are those tears brewing? He thought. Aw, how cute. After discovering that Caleb was certainly the kind of guy he could get along with and feel comfortable around, as well as be proud to associate with, he felt a surge of pride for being beaten for staring at the boy across from him. He absent-mindedly listened as Caleb awkwardly sidestepped discussing anything painful or excessively personal and blinked himself back into functional reality as he realized he was being ushered out of the library (his feet seemed to be working without waiting for him to respond to his potential new friend's subtle encouragement to ditch their projects and relocate somewhere with some chow).

"Hey, you know, the cafeteria is supposed to be holding an asian food special today. Do you like asian food?" I do. He thought to himself. But not sushi. I hate fish. Except tuna. I could eat tuna for the rest of my life if I had to. It was after listening to himself ramble in his head for a good minute that he reddened, grateful that he hadn't been saying all of this out loud. He turned to Caleb with an embarassed look on his face, hoping the other boy hadn't answered yet. If he had, he wouldn't have heard. Maybe he hadn't been rambling in his head for a full minute. He really had no concept of time sometimes.

He wanted to beat himself into the roof collumn they passed as the headed towards the stairs the lead into the cafeteria and commons.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] March 11th 2009, 12:58 am

Caleb had to slow his stride a bit. It was painfully apparent how much he wanted to get out of the library, to anyone who may have been watching, and he didn't want to give his peers anything to gawk at. As he and Jamie approached the library doors he answered Jamie. "Yeah I do, love it." He grinned relieved that there was delicious food awaiting him. He wasn't sure what food the cafeteria would be serving, he hadn't passed that way yet today, and Jamie's report made him even more hungrier. He loved food and Asian just so happened to be his comfort food. The smell wafted from the cafe "It smells good wouldn't you say?" He was beginning to feel more comfortable with Jamie. This didn't seem like the type of boy who was innately mean. In fact he didn't sense a mean bone in his body unless the boy was forced upon it. He looked back down at Jamie, as the boy was a few inches shorter than he, and noticed that there was a tint of red in the his cheeks. He thought it was cute that he was blushing, and it made him feel better about being so awkward from before- but he wondered why. Is he blushing because hes uncomfortable at how I acted before? I hope he's not mad at me. A lump rushed to his throat and he felt the need to apologize. "Look, uh sorry if I made you uncomfortable back there in the library. I was getting hungry, I don't know much about Napoleon, and my past is not something I like to think about." He voice was soft and barely audible. He was fighting the urge to head back to his dorm and crawl under his bed sheets. Aware of the fact that breaking out of his shell is healthy, he continued to stay. "It just pinched a nerve. I didn't mean to...well yea." He figured Jamie knew how he felt by now and ended it there.

They had arrived at the cafeteria, it was a short walk to begin with and Caleb had been speaking for most of it. Giving Jamie more of a chance to speak he asked "Where would you like to grab a table? Or would you like to get something to eat first?" He gave Jamie the option to be nice- but he was hoping Jamie would chose to get something to eat as his first choice -because Caleb's mouth was staring to water at the smell of the wantons. It was fairly packed but even if he had to sit on the floor he wouldn't mind. Asian food couldn't have come on a better day.

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] March 11th 2009, 1:11 am

"We should definitely go get some food first. The line is already starting to look long." He waited to answer Caleb's earlier questions until they had secured a place in the line, which seemed to hold half the academy's population looking savagely hungry. He whimpered inaudibly at the site of four particularly feral looking boys a few people ahead of them and turned back to Caleb, his mind back from the vacation it had been taking since the boy started talking to him.

"About the library, you didn't make me feel weird. Don't worry. I'm just a little awkward and my mind is usually in another place. No worries. I respect your privacy. But you seem really interesting so if you ever decide to spill your story to somebody, I'd be honored if you'd pick me." He winked and lightly nudged Caleb's elbow. He straightened and decided to keep to himself once one of the big fellows ahead of them snickered, realizing that he didn't exactly want a reputation this early in the year, though he knew rumors about his sexuality would spread like a wildfire once they caught on. He wasn't ashamed of himself, he just wanted to avoid coming out until he actually had a secure group of friends. And he didn't want Caleb to have to suffer on his behalf. He tried to hide the sour tone that shadowed his mood and forced a smile.

"So tell me, what do you like better - wantons or egg rolls?" He preferred wanton's himself. The cream cheese kind especially. His mind skipped a few gears and he found himself wanting to ask Caleb if he had a girlfriend or something. Maybe someone he liked since he was pretty sure he hadn't aquired arm candy here quite yet. Maybe he had someone back home? He furrowed his brow wondering why any of that mattered anyways. He shouldn't ask, at least not yet. Caleb had made it pretty clear he wasn't comfortable talking about private stuff.

caleb ryan sarcelier · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] March 11th 2009, 1:38 am

"Good." He sighed a little too loudly. He caught himself and laughed "I mean I'm so hungry I could eat a..." He paused. He was going to say a horse, as that's how he believed to saying went- but he's a vegetarian. Saying 'I'm so hungry I could eat a carrot' wouldn't really help his pride any. He didn't want to look any more foolish. He was too hungry to care what anyone thought at this point. He mind was focused on one thing and that was food. "I really do wish this lines would hurry up" he said as he covered his stomach attempting to muffle the growls. He laughed in response to Jamie's question. It felt good to loosen up. "Wantons definitely. How about you?"

Jamie began to talk and he was happily calmed by his words. He blushed and coughed "Well good." He looked towards the head of the line to distract himself from the conversation. He sensed Jamie's presence next to him. He made himself aware that it was he who was making it uncomfortable, not Jamie. In fact he found Jamie quite endearing. He looked Jamie in the eyes, smiled and said "Trust me I know about being awkward." He paused for affect "And my mind is usually in other places too." His heart warmed as he said these words because he knew Jamie meant them "Thank you, I appreciate your understanding and being so kind about my space." He smiled again and thought to himself, 'maybe I will pick you'. He wasn't sure how he meant that and as Jamie winked and nudged his elbow he felt himself melt ever so slightly. It was already a surprise he was feeling comfortable so soon. He was never interested in anyone before, and he wasn't sure if he even had a sexuality, but he felt a pull towards Jamie. An unusual pull beyond kindred spirits. He heard some boys snicker in the line ahead of them as they looked back them. He saw Jamie straighten and sensed an uncomfortable vibe. "Do those jerks bother you?" He said feeling a short serge of over protectiveness that came out of nowhere.

jamie lynn cross · Subject: Re: Great Minds. [ caleb & jamie ] March 11th 2009, 2:27 am

Good, so Caleb was loosening up. Of course, that only happened when he tensed up. A flood of semi-traumatic memories washed through him. The boys ahead of them may not have been snickering about anything that had anything to do with him - hell, they may not have even been looking at him - but it reminded him of every time he'd been oppressed or beaten or made fun of by everyone who had ever confronted him. From his most recent beating for following Caleb through the halls after the opening ceremony to the time he'd been beaten to a pulp by his "friends" from his mother's church to the time he'd been molested by his freshman English teacher. And all the times he'd been humiliated in public. Everything swarmed around him until he felt like passing out and reality seemed to bend unnaturally. He had to grip Caleb's arm for support. He was usually more in control, despite being a little too effeminite for his own good, he was strong - but for some reason he was falling apart.

A cold sweat broke across his brow and he paled considerably. He hoped Caleb woudln't freak out and not want to be his friend or think he was gross and diseased or something and leave him there. Or worse - Caleb might lose respect for him and think he couldn't stand up for himself or that he was weak or something and he might lose an opportunity to gain a friend.

What is happening to me?